Richard's favorite movie

I am really loving this Journal Jar that was gifted to me.  I love opening the jar each week and taking out a slip of paper that gives me a subject on Richard to write about every week.  It's really nice to stop and think about the good things about his life, and not just feel the sadness of him being gone.

What was Richard's favorite movie?  Why do you think he loved it so much?

The War.... That was one Richard has watched over and over in his little life.  I think for Richard it may have just been a movie starring kids, with a lot of action thrown in the middle.  He'd watch it sometimes a couple times a day.  Richard was young so his love of movies often changed as much as his clothes got changed.  lol  One thing that stayed the same for him every single time was that once he found one he loved, he'd watch it daily until it wore out it's welcome.  He wouldn't no longer like it, he'd just put that one to the back burner for the next favorite. 

I loved watching The War with him.  Although it has a couple curse words in it, it's a great movie about perseverance, team work, and just kids learning who they are as they grow up. 

Then the Disney Smitty fell on his radar.  He loved that one and deemed that when he got a dog it was going to be named Smitty.  That came true a couple weeks after he was diagnosed.  Watching him watch that movie would make a grown man cry.  Richard was such an emotional little guy.  He got so upset when "dog" was left to sit by the road all day.  Richard never wanted to see another soul get hurt or to feel lonely.  His compassion for others was through the roof.  God had a good hold on his little heart from day one.  Then at the end Richard lost it.  He was so emotionally connected to Smitty in the movie, it cam pouring out of his little eyes.  Soooooo sweet!!

This past summer Good Burger became a favorite.  Well, other than hearing him chuckle there was nothing about that movie I enjoyed watching.  hahaha   Isn't that how it goes as a parent.  Our maturity exceeds our kids so much so that it's hard to watch some of these shows and movies our kids enjoy.  Richard had complete rule of our TV in our house after diagnosis.  It was the only thing he could really still do with ease, so I allowed him that.  The other kids would get upset from time to time, but we'd talk about how they could get up and go ride bikes.   Richard couldn't just decide to get up and go play.

All of the Home Alone movies were also favorites.  I guess you can imagine why a boy his age would love those movies!!  He would chuckle through them at the same times every time.  Some parts where the bad guys were really getting it, he'd stop it and rewind and watch it again over and over.  It was so funny to see him really light up and enjoy the action, and seeing the pain inflicted on those bad guys.  Typical boy!!!!

I'd love to hear your comments if you've seen these movies!!  If not, of all of them I definitely suggest you see The War, Starring Kevin Costner (who by the way sent Richard an autographed copy of his magazine...so cool!!!) and Smitty.  Both really good family films!

If you could relive one day......

That you shared with Richard, which would it be?  What was so special about that day?

Wow, to name one day I would relive with Richard, seems nearly impossible.  As a family we shared so many wonderful days together.

Some of my favorites are the days that we had talent shows together.  Usually the kids would sing and dance for me, and I'd be the videographer.  Rheagan always caught onto the lyrics of songs faster than Richard and he would watch her to know what was coming.  To say this was precious is a complete and total understatement.  There was nor is much more in my life that can top seeing my kids cling to each other to get through something. 

We lived in Atlanta GA a year before moving to SC, while we lived there we had season passes to Six Flags over GA.  We went every single weekend we were together.  It was only about a 20 minute drive from our apartment (when you timed it right and missed rush hour).  We had that pretty much down to a science.  Devin had finally begun to enjoy riding roller coasters, and Richard was as adventurous as his big brother.  One of the older coasters there is called the Mind Bender, or maybe it's now the Riddler, anyway, On particular day Richard decided he'd ride that ride.  We waited in line boarded the cart, and Richard decided NO WAY.  haha  Devin rode it and we walked around a bit more Devin talking Richard into riding the ride.  He explained how much fun he would have on this roller coaster.  It has TWO loops.  Well, after a little coaxing Richard decided again that he would go for it.  Again we boarded the cart.  This time got buckled in.  As soon as it begun to move Richard flipped his lid.  He was clinging to me, crying, begging to get off the ride.  At this point it was too late to change your mind.  Here we go up the hill.  Richard crying and clinging to my arm.  My heart was breaking listening to his cries, knowing I couldn't stop his fear.  At the top of the hill something changed, he realized he was ok.  He excitedly took every curve, hill and both loops.  Smiling laughing, loving every single second of it.  He ended up riding it again after that he loved it so much.  His spirit was always that of adventure.  I think this may have been one of the first times I saw a glimpse into his overcoming nature.  Roller coasters are scary, and fast.  Just like the monster that grew inside his head, yet just like that of the roller coaster.  It started out scary, and he was so unsure, and unwilling to go through the ride, but once it really began to take off, and he became aware that there was no turning back, he grabbed on with both hands and enjoyed every minute of his little life with all that he had in him. 

 

 

 

 

Post diagnosis one of my most favorite days with Richard was the day he "joined the Army".  He had chosen to be a Army Guy for Halloween last year.  He was so excited to wear his costume.  Our friend, who's husband is in the Navy and stationed out at Ft. Jackson, decided she'd talk to her  husband and see if Richard could get a tour of Ft. Jackson.  Alex made some calls, and then next thing we know Richard had two days in the military, doing drills, meeting people and graduating.  During this, we had lunch with the Drill Sergents.  (Y'all forgive my not getting titles correct or remembering names, I'm horrible with that. ) :O)  While sitting at lunch we were dining with the man who is in charge of the Drill Sergent School at Ft. Jackson.  He kept asking Richard if he was having a good time, and what he wanted to do there.  Not once but three times Richard said he wanted to crawl in mud.  Our day was planned out and on a schedule from start to finish, and not long after this lunch we were to get at McEntire Air Force Base.  What did he say in response to my son?  "Well let's go crawl in mud"  this was not in the agenda, and not something anyone had dressed or prepared for, but to make my son's day a little more special, he took him to the mud.  Seeing that boy crawl through the trenches with this man, and another Drill Sergent while many others were there shouting, and chanting Richard on was nothing short of amazing.  I struggled to find the video, I hope this link works for you.  http://instagram.com/p/hlyw9Aqc7b/

I miss my sweet guy, and thinking back at days such as these, I can see just how full his little life was.  To quote a line from mine and Rheagan's "Richard song" by Matthew West.... Save a Place For Me "I wanna live my life like you did"  I want to live my life as full as as with as much enthusiasm as Richard did. 

Describe the first time you laid eyes on Richard

This is a new blog for me.  Something I've never really done.  Still not quite sure what this will look like going forward but I'm hoping with my Journal Jar, I will blog each week after pulling out a question.  I will answer that question here, and I pray that this will help in my healing process.  I am hopeful that each Sunday as I spend some time answering questions that my writing will evolve into something that really shows the love our family has for eachother. 

I never want another mother to feel this type of pain.  This is my journey through it, and I hope that by reading you can maybe help another through their pain, or yours.....

DESCRIBE THE FIRST TIME YOU LAID EYES ON RICHARD

He was perfect in every single way.  Richard and his sister were born via c-section.  July 1, 2005.  The second most beautiful day of my life.  I remember the nurses holding him up so I could see him.  Hearing that little cry.  Oh how amazing that sound was.  Richard was born and then two minutes later Rheagan joined him.  They were born 2 weeks and 5 days early.  Richard was 6lbs 14oz and Rheagan 6lbs 4oz. 

After my c-section I went to recovery and they went to the nursery.  I was so blessed that they were born with no complications.  I made sure to let them know in advance I did not want either of them to receive a bottle feeding, as I was so worried that it would cause issues nursing them.  I didn't do very well with my first, and I was determined that I would do this with the twins.  Richard had low blood sugar and was given a bottle before he could get to me.  As upset as I was, I was more glad that it wasn't that big of a deal he just needed milk faster. 

Richard did struggle a bit more to latch on but once he did it was no problem at all.  I can remember looking at them and seeing how different they each looked.  My twins are bi-racial and while Richard was fair complexion, Rheagan was a little more brown.  It was so funny, their dad made a joke and we all just thought only me.  He was perfect. She was perfect.  The amount of love I had for the two of them is amazing.  Nothing can compare to a mother's love as we have a bond from conception.

I remember I kept them with me all day every day.  I only let them leave for three hours each night to go to the nursery so the nurses could do what they needed to each day.  It was a much more peaceful experience than the first time I gave birth, I think because I was a little more prepared. 

Richard had the darkest hair on top of his little head.  They both did.  Absolutely perfect.  How blessed I was by God to have been chosen to be their mother!!!